Flailing into Adulthood


After Amendment 1 passed, I received a surprising influx of commentary regarding what was not on my blog, as opposed to what was, which is unusual. Actually, any commentary on my blog at all is unusual, because who the hell am I, that’s why.

As I (fun fact!) grew up in North Carolina, and (wouldn’t ya know it) have opinions aplenty, it seems some readers were perplexed at my failure to post regarding the matter. There are a few very simple reasons for this, which was, in fact, not a failure at all:

  1. To be frank, I didn’t expect anything better from North Carolina.
  2. 20.Something is about (mostly nonsensical) things that unite us, not divide us.
  3. I had no desire to be just another cheap temper tantrum on a social media site. An indignant blog post has never changed the world, and certainly has never appealed to anyone besides those who agree with it before they even read it.

Believe it or not, I do not enjoy a good debate. A good debate gives me indigestion. And if that’s my reaction to a good debate, you can only imagine the power of a bad one. I much prefer a discussion to a debate. A debate can go badly very quickly, and a bad debate is just an argument.

A discussion is an exchange of ideas, while an argument is the clashing of opposing ideas. And politics, in my opinion, is the clash heard ‘round the world. It’s, like, the most epic Pokemon match ever; everyone is just hurling angry little balls of fluff (opinions) at one another, and the fluff ball that stoops low enough to kick the other fluff ball in the fluffballs, wins. In politics, the low blow prevails, and the most obnoxious voices are the loudest heard. It’s just talking, talking, talking. And I do not wish to engage.

The only time we really like an opinion piece is when we are of the same opinion stated therein. Otherwise, we have our opposition pants on; reading the piece objectively is almost impossible. The frustration that would surely be caused by an indignant opinion piece is not worth the indignation. In the words of Billy Joel, “life went on, no matter who was wrong or right”…unless the Mayans are right. Then we’re all dicked, in which case, we probably shouldn’t be wasting the year talking politics anyway.

So, there is the short answer as to why I did not write an angry anti-Amendment 1 blog. The Amendment 1 battle is over, and the “them” to my “us” won. However…

My opinion is important. As is yours. As is, clearly, the voice of every single person who voted in favor of Amendment 1. I think Amendment 1 passed because humans have a tendency to protest more vehemently than we advocate. Fear is a more effective call to action than hope. Fear has a tangible scapegoat (in this case, marriage equality) while hope implies that something that does not yet exist needs to be obtained, to be built. It takes much more energy to build than to burn. To build takes years. To burn takes a flick of a match. Amendment 1 passed because those who were against marriage equality voted; while supporters sat at home and tweeted about it. Those who voted to pass Amendment 1 did not diminish their voice down to a blog post. They took their opinion to the poll, where it counts. They took out their matches and flicked.

If you take issue with the passing of Amendment 1, you shouldn’t be sitting at your computer shaking your fists and waiting for angry blog posts. Stop telling everyone that they are wrong and show them what is right. Get out your hammer, and crush the shit out of some matchboxes. Better yet, build something fireproof.

— 2 years ago